NEUSTERN POLITICAL REFORM

(Above) NEUSTERN ELECTION RESULTS, Ministry for Political Continuity, Nordstern.

The Supreme Controller of Neustern has today concluded power sharing talks with opposition parties. Two days ago, The Supreme Controller’s own National Comrades Party won a stunning victory in the city states first ever democratic elections. 80 of the 117 seats in the national parliament were taken by National Comrades and NC affiliated candidates. Such a generous majority guarantees that the Supreme Controller can continue to rule without consultation. Numerically impotent, the opposition called for a meeting with the Supreme Controller to discuss their role in the future political discourse of the state. The Supreme Controller has agreed that opposition deputies will be allowed take their seats in parliament. Their participation in debates is authorized on the condition that their contribution will be made in an obscure dialect of sign language. Opposition deputies will be permitted to take part in parliamentary votes on the condition they unreservedly support the National Comrade position. The publication of opposition newspapers and periodicles will be allowed to continue as long as they are published in a white ink on white paper format. According The Supreme Controller “these reforms guarantee that democratic life in Neustern can be preserved in a purely theatrical form . The real business of constructive autocracy will surge forward unhindered by liberal notions and consensus”.

Gary Farrelly, Dublin