(Above) TURPIN'S CURSE (2011), Ministry for Information, Turpin Island.
Our wise leader, the Great Turpin, has introduced a policy of total isolation, to be applied to all human inhabitants of the Turpish Isles, forthwith. Any and all physical, verbal or written contact between the Great Turpin’s subjects has been banned. In accordance with Turpin’s standard policy, the law is retroactive, meaning that any subjects found to have communicated physically, verbally, or in writing over the past ten years will face immediate and harsh penalties, including liquidation and the inversion of their family lines.
The measure has been taken, in part, to create a more Turpincholy environment for the Great Turpin’s chosen species, Odocoileus virginianus (white-tailed deer), to whom he has bequeathed the land reclaimed from insubordinate human subjects.
Representatives for the Great Turpin have made it known that they are available for comment, and that any attempt to make contact with them will result in immediate liquidation.
David Turpin, Dublin.
No comments:
Post a Comment