11/08/2011

NEW CHURCH OPENS IN NEUSTERN

(Above) Gary Farrelly, FREE CHURCH OF NEUSTERN(2011), Galerie Modonov.

Free Church of Neustern,
102-105 Gold Standard Paradeway,
Neustern South Central.

A dedicated United Christian Worship Facility UCWF has been inaugurated in the autonomous coastal city state of Neustern. The church building, which is the first of it's kind is to be named: The Free Church of Neustern*.The building has taken four months to construct and has been in planning for over a decade. The church will be open to all- 24 hours day/ 365 days a year.
*Dedicated to Saint Sophia of Slutsk and Neustern.

The Free Church of Neustern will occupy the new building after a ribbon cutting ceremony tomorrow afternoon. The church has issued a list aims and objectives list for public consumption:
  • To promote unity and cooperation between the various christian denominations.
  • To promote understanding and respect between Christians, other faiths and non believers.
  • To remove all exclusionary human political additives from religious discourse.
  • To promote apocalypse awareness and readiness among the congregation.
  • To consult with the state authorities in robustly preparing Neustern for the apocalypse.
  • To provide for the welfare and health care needs of Neusterners.

The popularity of Catholicism and protestantism in Neustern has been in decline since the foundation of the state in 1983. The new church rejects any political subdivision among the followers of Jesus Christ. Some radically liberal elements in the foreign press have criticized government funding of 25% of total construction. The government of Neustern commits itself to part funding to the sum of 25% any facility used to house any organization (with a membership numbering no less that 20,000 souls) - seeking to promote community, religious or political discourse. The very same government monies were made available for the following projects: The Islamic Cultural Center of Neustern(2007), The Jewish Worship Center(1988), The Homosexualist Alliance headquarters(2009) and the Center for Obsessive Compulsive Socializing(1985). Indeed the recently formed Libertarian Party of Neustern opened it's own university using state subsidy only two months ago. The foreign criticism is perchance unsurprising at a time when international opinion has turned against the 2000 year old teachings of Christ in favor of secularism, radical earth worship and self worship. Believeing in god is not chic? Sucking dick through holes in bathroom doors is chic? A hate for god and his creations is chic? Not so in Neustern, which is a civilized country taking the freedom of speech and the right to worship very seriously. These rights are inherant and apply to all individuals and their faiths and social persuasions excluding none. In Neustern freedom is chic! no matter how controversial the dispensation of that freedom is.
Gary Farrelly, Neustern.

2 comments:

  1. but never tell me sucking dick thru holes in toilet doors is not chic!-enjoyed reading this X

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