DEAR C.C. READER PROBLEMS

(Above) COLLETTE CROWLEY, Unknown photographer(2011)

(Above) DEAR C.C. CONTRACTS, Gary Farrelly(2011)

New Obsessive is delighted to announce that Dear C.C. is to become a regular feature of the publication. Gary Farrelly and Collette Crowley signed a legally binding contract to that effect just 48 hours ago. The signing was witnessed by Oisin Byrne. New Obsessive was impressed by the strong reader interest in the feature and looks forward to continued great development for all parties concerned. Send your reader questions to dearccnewobsessive@gmail.com

Dear CC
I'm the misandrist lesbian alter ego of a misogynist gay man. Lately I've been feeling like no gender labels can really describe me. Have we yet arrived at a time when we can honestly say that gender is a societal construct into, or out of which, we can opt?
Yours,
Neo Nancy

Dear Neo Nancy,
Do you require a permanent label, or can you be one way on Tuesdays and another on Saturdays with vague areas betwixt and between?
Personally I have a horror of being told someones preference - rather like Americans who introduce themselves with their ’star sign’.
Opt for mystery and keep them all guessing,
Yours,
C.C.

Dearest Collette.
I have recently found myself the object of a series of brutal and violently abusive bullying.
Not friendships nor family are the sources of the above.
It is the world. The world is bullying me. Bullying me by not giving me what I want. I usually always get what I want.
How do I get it back? What is it?
Yours in deep fear,
X.

Dear X
It’s your perception of the world as a place filled with horror that’s amiss - I’m presuming that you have no real reason - do you live in Beijing?
If not, then stop reading newspapers and watching the news and avert your eyes from tempting advertisements.
Write back in a month and let me know how wonderful life has become.
Yours C.C.

Dear Collette,
My girlfriend constantly wants sex. I think she'd have it every day if I would let her. It doesn’t seem as 'special' if we do it too often. I mean, its great when we have it, I think I’m just worried if we have too much, I’ll get sick of it!!! And sometimes I’m just not in the mood. Any suggestions to get me in the mood more?
Yours,
Wilfred in London.

Dear Wilfred,
Tell her you’ve got the clap.
Yrs, C.C.

Dear C.C,
Do you feel like we have something to fear in the shape of secretive (and some not so secretive) organizations rumoured to have a higher knowledge of what's actually occurring in the world combined with the power to control and persuade it? Don't you ever sometimes feel like maybe there's nothing out there aside from a vortex of coincidences, and if you do really believe in such conspiracy theories, how do you sleep at night?
Curious,
Athlone.

Dear Curious,
The word ’coincidence’ was invented precisely to describe such unsettling patterns of events. However that does not mean that powerful secretive forces are not grinding with baleful intent. If you kept chickens you would be worrying about lice and rats instead.
Yrs., C.C.

Dear CC,
I have been dating a lovely, but work obsessed guy for 12 years.
He is wonderful to be with, when that happens. He works so much it rarely happens. Now that we are able to marry in New York, should I pop the question?
I have no idea.
Thank you
Steve
New York .

Dear Steve,
Make sure that your wedding vows address any concerns you might have - and pop away - if the worst comes to worst he will be good for alimony.
Yrs., C.C.

Hi Collette
so my question is I have met 3 men in the last few weeks in nightclub’s mostly and the same thing happens I meet them they ask for my number and then they all send me a text message asking me if I have got home ok and then I never hear from them again why do they bother? (the 3 men were all Irish)
Anon

Dear Anon,
They were checking that the phone was correct and making sure you have THEIR number. USE IT.
Yrs.,
C.C.

Dearest Colette,
Do you think that true love is not to want or need anything from the beloved? This makes sense to me in my mind, but seems difficult in practice at times.
Thanks for your insight,
Corin Thian, Rome

Dear Corin,
Practice makes perfect,
Yrs., C.C.

Dear C.C
I am a student in my twenties and although i'm having a great time rambling about Dublin, My current future wish is to marry into some form of royalty. eg, lord, duke etc. I desire to be amongst the luxury, at least for a while. But how do I go about mingling with these social circles? As that really is the most obvious starting point I assume.
Thanks,
ANONYMOUS.

Dear Anon,
It’s a total fallacy to imagine that lords or dukes lead lives of anything other than extreme discomfort. Try staying in some freezing dank barracks of a castle in the winter and see what I mean. If its luxury you are after, find yourself a nice dull billionaire who wants you to spend his money.
Yrs., C.C.

Collette
I am still finding it hard to fully get over my ex even though it is a year and I am happily now in another relationship with the most caring man , but little flashbacks keep coming and going and I often find myself down over the slightest thing,
do you have any tips or advice for me to get over this?
Yours Sincerely
A. Non.

Dear Anon,
George Jones records.
Yrs., C.C:

Dear Colette,
I thouroughly enjoy and take great constructive council from your feature in NEW OBSESSIVE. I am curious; what qualifies you to dispense advice? Where does your common sense have its provenance?
Yours, Regtilda (Tildy), Fagernes, Norway.

Dear Tildy,
An overweening sense of my own special talents.
Yrs.,
C.C.

Dear C.C.,
My dreams of late are characterized by images of disfigured cheeks, broken teeth, giants convering their right eye with one hand, drained swimming pools, and the inability to speak. I do not eat cheese late at night and am pretty happy and anxiety free in wake time. Analysis?
X
Denis, Tulsa

Dear Denis,
Your lovely brain is providing the excitement missing in your daily dreary life.
Yrs.,
C.C: