5/11/2011

THE GREAT TURPIN COMBATS OVERCROWDING


(Above) David Turpin, SELFPORTRAIT(2010), Turpin Island State Museum.


CANNIBALISM

In the wake of The Great Turpin's drastic protein-reduction measures, subjects of the overcrowded Outer Turpish Empire are believed to have been reduced to a cannibalistic state. As the right to consume the flesh of Turpish subjects is The Great Turpin's alone, fresh measures have been taken for the containment of cannibalism and the alleviation of overcrowding.

BOTTLED

Approximately 75% of the population of the Outer Turpish Empire has now been issued with inferred orders to report to Vaporization Stations, where they will be rendered into a gaseous state. Subjects will then be bottled and placed in underground storage until such a time as they can be used as an energy source.

TRIBUTE

The Great Turpin expects garlands and candies to be placed on all local alters in thanks for this gesture of magnaminity. Those failing to make sufficient offerings will be liquidated with extreme prejudice, and their family lines will be inverted. Those seeking further clarification of the new legislation are advised to liquidate themselves as a courtesy to the State.

David Turpin, Dublin

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